awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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