I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
