so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
