I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
