ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
