The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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