ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
