Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
