Where are you?
In a non slutty way
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
