either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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