Can i not drive my cunt home
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize