Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
