you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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