I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
