These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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