I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
