i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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