I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
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