I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
