Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Did I show you my penis last night?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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