nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
So much Jack, so little girl.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
