last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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