I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
