Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
