covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
