Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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