Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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