Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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