And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
