so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
