you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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