I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
