Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
