even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
