hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Randomize
