It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Hippo gnu deer
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
