This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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