i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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