Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
