the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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