Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
