Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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