I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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