Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
