I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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