When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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