Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
