Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
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I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
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Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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