I will die if light touches me.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
