I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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