That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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