i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
