Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
