Christians are straight up FREAKS
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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