We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
