ugly people sure do ruin things
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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