there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Can I color on your dick again?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
