The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
