He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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