woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
sarcasm needs its own font
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.