If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
