I don't get it.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor