so that wasnt chicken after all
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
