my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
