my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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