You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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